When you’re in the middle of a vicious storm, survival is all you can think about. It’s only when the seas are calm and the clouds break that we learn what we’re really made of…
As Emily writes in her latest post, Storm Clouds and Strength:
“It’s amazing how much one could draw strength at times when it’s needed most. Early 2009 was definitely one of those times. What I can’t understand is how strength can come in many different forms; especially at times when it seems as if things are the bleakest…
So what or where did I draw strength from during my lowest point in my IF [infertility] journey? Good question. Those days I honestly don’t know how Iput one foot in front of the other. Because even though I tried my“best” to be successful in creating a family … well, we all know the end results. And how does one find strength from inside when the end result would never be 100% clear? Where the “consequences” of not being successful were just as, if not deeper and darker than the pain felt at the very beginning of the IF journey?
The short answer is that I don’t know. All I know is that, even though my IF journey ended with living child-free, I somehow managed to find a small glimmer of light, a slight silver lining around the edges of the storm clouds of infertility. And I managed to find some strength to find my way out of the darkness.
And I hope that any other IF-ers that read this knows that, even in its worse days, somehow that strength is buried deep inside; it’s just a matter of remembering to use it.”
Emily’s story contains a valuable lesson. Once it becomes clear we’ve survived a storm, we are in a position, once again, to thrive. Please feel free to share your stories.
Oh Geez, Pam … I feel so special. Thanks for highlighting my blog entry. And I just want to let you know, reading your words is something that I know helped me weather the storm. Thanks again … for everything!
I Loved Emily’s insight. We have all been there and thought we could not go any further, sometimes we, at least I validated myself as a human being by my ability to produce an offspring. I no longer view those to be one and the same. I know I can continue to love and live and most of all be happy.
A fresh start. How perfect!
I had no idea how I would weather the storm. But I did. Although I was terrified as this past holiday season approached, I came out on the other side. And guess what? I actually enjoyed myself.
Like Emily, I think part of weathering the storm is having faith that you can summon the strength you need. This doesn’t mean that you won’t hurt – I did, terribly, and sometimes still do. I sent desperate emails to Pamela asking if things get better. She assured me they do. I believed her, and held onto that little piece of hope that someday I’d actually feel good again. She was right. I can’t explain HOW we weather the storm, but I believe we can all do it.
I’m excited to start life again with the opportunity for new roles. So being a mom won’t be one of them. Oh well, there are many other roles to choose from.
As I wrestle with this issue for the second time in my life (a surprise pregnancy years after we thought we couldn’t and a resulting miscarriage) I’ve been looking for a safe haven and for others like me. I look forward to being a regular follower here.
I’m glad to see this, a fresh start. Most fitting indeed.
Huzzah! I’m glad to see you back in the blogsphere. I still get to visit yes?
An old gambler in Monaco told me once, “things can always get worse”; I have used that in my own life to mean that ‘things can always get better’. You never know what is around that next corner, could be something brilliant.
Hi Pam,
I did a little post that might fit with this subject. Feel free to use it if you’d like.
http://awomanwithoutchildren.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/the-hike/