loss

Remembrance

Tenacity, Resilience and Grit

There was a time when, like Scarlett O’Hara in a scene from Gone With the Wind, I felt trapped in a bad dream — lost in pea soup fog. I knew I was off course, and it was far from clear how I would find my way forward. There was a visceral sense of being […]

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Book Musings
Fortitude
Tapestry of Voices

Strong At The Broken Places

This week my TV viewing intersected with life in a meaningful way.  Larger than life characters reminded me that in the long march of time, it’s how we cope with what comes our way that defines us. In turbulent times, sanity and clear thinking can be in short supply. That was made abundantly clear in […]

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What I Wish I'd Know Then

We Don’t Heal From Suffering We’re Changed By It

We usually want to believe we’ll be grace under pressure, stoic and even sunny in the face of adversity. The truth is we never really know how we’ll respond to unexpected, searing pain and loss — being truly in despair — until we find ourselves facing it head on.  Even then we don’t have any […]

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Different Than I Expected
Linking Around
Tapestry of Voices

When Life is Interrupted By Failed Fertility

Missing from many of life’s conversations where infertility is concerned is the male perspective, which is why I was both pleased and surprised to see that the first questions asked during the Q&A portion of The Cycle: Living A Taboo Forum came from men. While I don’t remember the exact dialogue that unfolded, I do […]

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Changing Perceptions
Different Than I Expected
Documentary
Pop Culture
The Cycle Relay Forum

One Small Step For Infertility Awareness, One Giant Leap For Society

My expectations for September 27 and The Cycle: Living A Taboo were very high — not only for those of us presenting at the forum, but for those who would join us. What transpired surpassed my expectations. As the evening drew near, we speakers assembled in Tribeca from Los Angeles, Silicon Valley, Spanish Harlem, Boston, […]

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An Act of Kindness
Different Than I Expected
Tapestry of Voices

The Wisdom of Experience and Value of Seeing the Whole Picture

Update: You can read the “The Grief of Infertility” #losschat transcript from the Twitter Chat earlier this week. The discussion is contained on Storify. Great sharing — we even had a man’s perspective. I’m not sure when I first started watching but every seven years I tune in for a viewing of a documentary series […]

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What I Wish I'd Know Then

Grief Is a Form of Love

It’s been a few years since I first began to pick up the pieces broken and splintered off in the tempest of infertility and failed IVF. Because there were no instructions for reassembly, no “how to cope with infertility” imparted by elders or learned through societal observation, I’ve had my fair share of trial and […]

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News Reports and Studies
Pop Culture
Relationships

Why Do We Pretend Away Infertility?

Humans don’t do well with emotional discomfort of any kind. This has been proven time and time again, but no more so than with infertility. It can be traumatizing on many levels, but I guess I didn’t realize how difficult an infertility diagnosis can be on other people. They just do not want to see […]

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Changing Perceptions
Documentary

Let’s Change Some Attitudes

“I don’t know how to deal with this…” That’s a common response, albeit usually unspoken, for people in the throes of reconciling an infertility diagnosis. Curiously, those are also the same eight words that pop into the head of someone who isn’t dealing directly with infertility when they learn someone close is swept up in […]

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Changing Perceptions
Pop Culture
Tapestry of Voices
What I Wish I'd Know Then

Your Sanity Matters Much More Than You Think

This post is dedicated to new readers — those who found their way here from the Bitter Infertiles (podcast Episode 20). If you’re new to this blog, I hope you’ll see it’s quite pleasant here. Contrary to conventional wisdom, flowers grow. Laughter is encouraged. All in all, we strive to make this blog a place […]

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