Skip to content

Silent Sorority

Infertility Survivors Finally Heard

Menu
  • My Story
    • Silent Sorority: Memoir
    • Coming2Terms Blog
  • About
  • Bylined Work
    • Times of London: The False Hope of ‘Fertility’ Benefits
    • NYT Op-Ed: The Big IVF Add-on Racket
    • STAT: Dark side of IVF
    • Do à la carte menus serve infertility patients?
    • New York Times Op-Ed: Selling the Fantasy of Fertility
    • WIRED: The Sobering Facts About Egg Freezing
    • FORTUNE: The Tough Truth About Egg Freezing
    • The Huffington Post
    • Medium ‘Human Parts’
    • Seleni Institute
    • New York Times Motherlode
    • Infertility’s Emotional Impact
  • In the News
    • MSNBC: Childless Not By Choice
    • STAT: IVF ‘add-ons’ rest on shaky science
    • IVF ‘Add-On’ Procedures Offer False Hope
    • Named ‘Top Health Blogger’ by Health Magazine
    • The Globe and Mail
    • The New York Times
    • MarketWatch – 10 Things Fertility Clinics Won’t Say
    • Women’s eNews
    • Radio: Living Childfree
    • Yahoo Shine Health Feature
    • The Broad Side
    • ABC TV Interview
    • Redbook
  • ReproTech Medicine Reporting
Menu

Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward

Posted on March 13, 2010September 22, 2016 by Pamela Tsigdinos

Spring is almost here! What does that mean for you?

Me? I’m counting the days until we leave for Ireland where the hills are always gloriously green. (Yes, there will be rain so I’ve picked up a new water-repellent, hooded jacket to keep me from getting soaked to the skin). Most of all I’m looking forward to some spring break time with my 10-year-old niece and 13-year-old nephew. They’re simply delightful and share many of my husband’s family characteristics. Among the fun is listening to their rich vocabulary. The Irish truly have a natural, entertaining story-telling ability.

I’m also in the mood to purge and tidy. As I sat down to write this post, I was reminded of an earlier musing on spring cleaning and checked back on my previous blog to see if I recognized the person who wrote it. Have you ever done that? Gone back to some old letters, journals or, if you’re a blogger, old posts to see what the writing reveals? It’s been two years and lots of serious baggage chucking since I wrote this post. It’s more than a little strange to feel, again, the anger contained in it.

As a measure of just how far I’ve come since then, I gauged my response to a New York Times piece this morning on mommy bloggers, “Honey, Don’t Bother Me, I’m Too Busy Building My Brand.” The old Pamela Jeanne would have been launched into lunar orbit and written a tirade about self-absorbed women who didn’t fully appreciate what it meant to have the opportunity to look across the breakfast table and see their child smiling back over their cereal bowl. That would be because they were too busy locked in a love affair with their laptop — trying to one-up other mommy bloggers with their ‘momminess.’ That, or I would have written a biting post about women who appear to be more fixated on documenting monetizing motherhood than experiencing it. That was then, this is now.

See also  Grief Is a Form of Love

I’m not the only one who is getting a new lease on life. I’ve heard from several women recently who are either in the process of or are looking to take big strides — spring forward you might say. Vicki shared a link to a recent blog post she wrote about how a mountain hike became a metaphor:

“We both felt more alive than we had in a while.  We had accomplished something difficult.  For the last half of the journey up our lungs burned, our muscles protested, and our hearts felt like they were going to beat out of our chests, but we persevered and we made it.  What seemed like a small accomplishment in most people’s eyes…it’s not like we climbed Everest or anything…was a huge step forward for us.  There was something liberating about it, and we felt instantly closer again. Because we grew up in a rural area in the mountains many of our dates before we were married had been hikes and exploring adventures to places we had never been to before.  Sunday took us back to our dating days before the heaviness of infertility and the responsibilities of life had taken their toll.

It also felt like a new beginning in some ways.  We proved to ourselves that we could accomplish something again even it was just completing a 3-mile round-trip hike…and that’s a good start. Hopefully, there will be more adventures to come…maybe even bigger ones.”

There are few things more satisfying than accomplishing something that wasn’t easy, something that tested us.

Among other signs of finding a new equanimity, I’m now able to see signs of fertility without immediately feeling a sense of loss.  I’m viewing it more as a sociologist or anthropologist might. For instance, I wrote a piece for Open Salon earlier this week on the fertility subtext of the HBO Series Big Love. Do you see a similar change in the way you view fertility? Spring is certainly the time to see it in abundance…

See also  Enough With the Mom Pandering, Ann Romney

Related Posts:

  • Jet Lag, Mailbag, and More
    Jet Lag, Mailbag, and More
  • Oh, The Places We'll Go!
    Oh, The Places We'll Go!
  • The Power of Stories (and a Hug or a Walk)
    The Power of Stories (and a Hug or a Walk)
  • Still Becoming Me
    Still Becoming Me
  • The Latest With Me: Book Musings and More
    The Latest With Me: Book Musings and More
  • Childless Not by Choice: A Conversation with Civilla Morgan
    Childless Not by Choice: A Conversation with Civilla Morgan

4 thoughts on “Spring Break, Spring Cleaning and Springing Forward”

  1. Diane says:
    March 14, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    I think it’s contagious, Pamela! I just read that NYT article. My reaction: Eh.

    Corollary to that, during the Olympics there was abundant advertising on NBC for a forthcoming TV series entitled “Parenthood.” My reaction to that: Eh. Just one more show to not bother watching.

    I might have said this before on a post either here or at coming2terms, but my turning point for taking the “eh” attitude toward fertility in the media, and perhaps fertility in general, seemed to be when I turned 50. (I’m 54 now). Perhaps it’s fair to say that at 50+, women in general aren’t defining themselves by their fertility but by their other accomplishments. And we infertiles get a head start on that process!

    Reply
  2. Pamela says:
    March 15, 2010 at 1:53 am

    A very astute observation, Diane!

    Reply
  3. claire says:
    March 19, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Have a lovely time in Ireland try some Guinness if you haven’t already; the weather is also really good at the moment so hopefully it won’t rain to much.

    Reply
  4. Pamela says:
    March 21, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Thanks, Claire! Just a few days before we had across the continent and an ocean. Cheers!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

My Books

Popular Posts

  • Defining Abuse in Assisted Reproductive Technology
  • Casting off Chains of Infertility: Fertility Diary, The Life of Pi and Search for Peace
  • Strong At The Broken Places
  • Life After Infertility: One Decade, Many Thoughts
  • Infertility Community’s Black Sheep: Women Who Don’t Achieve Motherhood
  • The Invisibleness of Infertility: To Pass or Not to Pass?
  • IVF Rollercoaster: BBC Radio Show Callers Describe ‘Grueling, Painful, Isolating, Roll of Dice’
  • Infertility Community: A Microcosm of Society Misunderstandings and All
  • Not Having Children After Infertility ‘An Assault to Identity’
  • Dear Abby Strikes Out On Infertility, Childless Not By Choice Question

Subscribe to New Blog Posts

 Subscribe in a reader

Archives

Tags

Avalanche bioethics change Childless childlessness conflict culture egg freezing emotions expectations fertility industry fertility treatment friendships grief growth guest post healing health heroines identity infertility IVF Jessica Hepburn Jody Day journey lessons loss media motherhood myths narrative non-moms psychology reinvention relationships research RESOLVE silent sorority society stigma survival trauma travel truths what ifs

Categories

  • An Act of Kindness
  • Another Perspective
  • Bioethics
  • Book Musings
  • Changing Perceptions
  • Choices
  • Different Than I Expected
  • Documentary
  • Fortitude
  • Guest Post
  • Linking Around
  • Movies
  • News Reports and Studies
  • Pandemic
  • Pop Culture
  • Psychology
  • Relationships
  • Remembrance
  • Spontaneity
  • Strength Personified
  • Tapestry of Voices
  • The Cycle Relay Forum
  • Uncategorized
  • What I Wish I'd Know Then

Recent Comments

  • Pamela Tsigdinos on In Limbo Once Again: Long COVID This Time
  • Cathy Broadwell on In Limbo Once Again: Long COVID This Time
  • Pamela Tsigdinos on In Limbo Once Again: Long COVID This Time
  • dublinerInDeutschland on In Limbo Once Again: Long COVID This Time
  • Pamela Tsigdinos on In Limbo Once Again: Long COVID This Time

Blogroll

  • A Blank New Page
  • Bent Not Broken
  • Childless By Marriage
  • Conscious Childless Elderwomen
  • Des meandres aux etoiles (French)
  • Different Shores
  • Elaine OK (German)
  • Ever Upward
  • Femme Sans Enfant (French)
  • Finding A Different Path
  • Gateway Women
  • Infertile Phoenix
  • Infertility Honesty
  • It's Inconceivable
  • Jessica Hepburn's Blog
  • Just Being
  • Lavender Luz
  • Lesley Pyne
  • Life Without Baby blog
  • MSNBC – Life After IVF
  • No Kidding in NZ
  • Other side of the threshold (Swedish)
  • ReproTechTruths
  • Sitrrup Queen's Blogroll
  • SlidingDoors
  • Slow Swimmers & Fried Eggs
  • The Dove Cote
  • The Empty Cradle (Brisbane)
  • The Infertility Voice
  • The Next 15,000 Days
  • The NotMom
  • The Road Less Travelled
  • Uber Barrens Club
  • Walk in Our Shoes
© 2023 Silent Sorority | Powered by Superbs Personal Blog theme