Silent Sorority became the first infertility memoir not written by a mother. Learn more about the book and the reviews it has received from readers around the world.
“Silent Sorority helped me beyond measure. I also gave the book to my family. My folks, although clinical psychologists, could not quite grasp the continual pain. They became much better about it. MUCH.”
“After years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, Tsigdinos stopped, becoming an online hero for documenting her journey away from motherhood.” – Katrina Onstad, The Globe and Mail
“Pamela’s ‘silent sorority’ of women who can’t conceive are becoming more vocal. These days, many women are sick of the whispers. They’re infertile and they’re not ashamed.” – Piper Weiss, Pop Sugar /Yahoo
“Mother’s Day looks different from where she stands.” – Lisa Belkin, The New York Times
“Tsigdinos has given a voice to infertile women’s experience.” – Bitch Magazine
“One of the few memoirs I’ve read where there isn’t a ‘happy baby ending’. The world needs more of these and Pamela Tsigdinos is an inspirational spokeswoman for the baby-less generation.” – Jessica Hepburn, In Pursuit of Motherhood
“Silent Sorority is a brave book and a gift to all infertile women, whatever stage of the journey they may be on.” – Kate Johnson, NBC/iVillage
“An intelligent social commentary on our mommy-centric culture and what it’s like to be childless-not-by-choice when everyone around you is baby-mad.” – Lisa Manterfield, I’m Taking My Eggs and Going Home
“Witty, heartbreaking, and absolutely bittersweet.” – Marcie Pickelsimer, Grown In My Heart
“I know that I am not the only one who has been emboldened by Pamela’s story. See for yourself. Buy her book, read it and go to her blog and see for yourself the power of being part of this Silent Sorority. We are not alone.” — Amazon.com Reviewer
In September 2010, Silent Sorority earned a ‘Best Book’ award.
4 thoughts on “Silent Sorority: The Memoir”
I just spent the weekend reading this book and I loved it. One of the things that had me laugh out loud (I definitely thought I had the monopoly on this one) was the use of birth control pills after failed fertility treatments to get rid of her periods. It sounds like a crazy thing for an infertile woman to do, but it’s one of the best gifts I ever gave myself, after five years i.e. 60 monthly reminders of my infertility – I’d had enough. Of course I have a sound medical reason to take them (endometriosis) and that’s what I tell anyone who finds out that I do. But the truth was right there in Pamela’s book!
I am childless through illness and hysterectomy at the age of 30 and a couple of months before marriage. I was offered a chance of surgery to remove some endo damage and then IVF. We declined as the stress was too much and the chance or it working, very small. I didn’t want to risk my health or a potential child by invasive and then, new treatment. My consultant approved and afterward told us that I would have had to have a hysterectomy as the endo was so bad, we don’t regret that decision although I do sometimes feel sad. Does that make me selfish? I don’t think so. We have a good marriage and I have been free to look after elderly or ill family.
I am a Mom-by-adoption. I am eternally grateful for that journey; my ultimate goal of being a Mom, was fulfilled by two beautiful gifts of life -pre-schoolers when they came “home forever”- with huge losses of their own. We are filling the holes in each other’s hearts.
I will always be a part of your silent sorority because although my grief has found its place in my life, it will remain with me until my dying day. I’ll never forget crying out, “How could God do this, first I didn’t have a Daddy (he died when I was 7) and now I can’t have a Baby??” The loss of the natural course of things as a woman… getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, breast feeding, holding a newborn, sharing all of that with my husband – was at the time excruciating for me. I had so much hope when starting infertility treatments – all we ever heard about was the success stories. I kept joining support groups, but quickly found out that really, they were groups to support you until you were successful. The quiet, crying, sad ones, like me, quietly faded away.
And so, I am glad to know that you all are here. We have survived. We are able to live with the recurring grief as we pass though different stages of life and face that primary loss over and over again. And so, most appropriately we remain silent. But we can know that we are never alone.