Silent Sorority

Infertility Survivors Finally Heard

December 30, 2009

New Beginnings, New Adventures

Welcome. Get comfortable. Take a look around. The first order of business: a name for this blog.

Where Coming2Terms became an online refuge following failed fertility treatments and related losses (and a place to manage a complex transition from one sort of life to another), this blog will explore new beginnings. It seemed only natural to create a gathering place for women who share a unique bond and a desire to chart a new course.

As we explore and embrace a life different than what we once envisioned, the blog categories will range from Different Than I Expected to Tapestry of Voices to Bioethics to Society … and for those sometimes poignant flashbacks, Remembrance. This blog is in its formative stages so your contributions and ideas are welcome.

The chairs are meant for you, readers and contributors. Please think about what you’d like to say and check back for new entries.

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Different Than I Expected 32 Replies to “New Beginnings, New Adventures”
Pamela Tsigdinos
Pamela Tsigdinos
Writer, blogger and, oh, yeah, infertility survivor. My memoir, Silent Sorority, tells the whole story. There's a movie in there somewhere. Given the quirkiness needed to relate it all I'm thinking Jennifer Lawrence would be a good fit.

COMMENTS

32 thoughts on “New Beginnings, New Adventures

    Author’s gravatar

    Pretty! I’m going to be checking this one out!

    Author’s gravatar

    I love this idea of a new blog for those of us in “post-infertility”! I’m in the Northeast where we are about to shut down for the New Year’s weekend due to one storm coming from the west and one from the south, so I’ll have plenty of time to work on a contribution. Some ideas are percolating already… Happy New Year to all sisters in the Silent Sorority!

    Author’s gravatar

    Congratulations on your new blog! And thank you for still dropping by to congratulate me on my new beginning. I’m glad you’re hosting a new sacred place.

    Author’s gravatar

    I like this a lot and plan to visit often. While I haven’t entirely stepped out of the treatment camp yet, I am just ticking off treatment steps until I can say I’ve given it a good shot and can retire (possibly via a hysterectomy. What can I say – I enjoy clarity. Wait, no, that’s unclear – the hysterectomy would be medically indicated, I’m being sarcastic). Anyway, I draw hope from the women who are living joyful if not perfect lives after letting go the notion that infertility ultimately ends with baby. On my current trajectory, I should be a full-fledged permanent member of the silent sorority well before I’m 30…what can I say, I’m precocious!

    Author’s gravatar

    I just finished reading Silent Sorority and have bought copies for my mom and my sister. Pamela was able to articulate what I’ve been stumbling to say for the past 5 years and I knew when I finished the book that part of my healing would involve them reading this book. So THANK YOU, Pamela.
    On a different note, it’s my 37th birthday and this new blog is the perfect present!!

    Author’s gravatar

    Happy birthday, Karin!  So glad you found Silent Sorority a healing read. Here’s to many joyful years awaiting you…

    Author’s gravatar

    This looks fabulous, PJ. I love the idea of celebrating those of us who have been living as non-mommies for years. I feel a bit like the “older sister” to some of the commenters here….

    Had an interesting conversation last night with my younger brother (father of triplets) about the responsibilities of grandparents that I’m looking forward to writing about.

    And I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you here.

    Author’s gravatar

    Love the idea of this new blog, I’ll be back often! I’m having a wonderful and sophisticated New Year’s evening tonight with 3 other couples … cocktails and then dinner out. My child-burdened friends are at someones house ordering in pizza and watching Dick Clark/Ryan Seacrest. We win!! A happy and a healthy new year to you Pamela and to everyone.

    Author’s gravatar

    Hey PJ! Happy New Decade and congrats on the new digs! I’m totally with you, and think it’s a great idea-symbolically and actually-to move house at this point. I’d been toying with the idea of a new blog too, and this is great inspiration to get back into blogworld and get moving. Here’s to all of us bad ass Sorority Chicks in 2010!

    Author’s gravatar

    Pamela-
    Welcome! Love your new site. How exciting! My best to you and all the other women who will stop by and find a place where they finally feel like they fit in.
    Happy New Year!
    Stephanie

    Author’s gravatar

    Can we use “Bad Ass Sorority Chicks” as the title of the blog? (see Zee above).

    Just kidding.

    But… Sorority could definitely be in the blog name, and perhaps Chicks.

    How about
    Sorority Voices
    Sorority Chicks Speak
    Silent Sorority Voices
    Silent Sorority Chicks Speak
    Life on the Island (or something to do with that whole “island” thingy)
    What’s Next: Sorority Chicks Speak

    That’s all I’ve got for now, but I could come up with more, I’m sure!

    Author’s gravatar

    I have just ordered Silent Sorority, this being my very first nervous step to a new beginning. Still very angry and having difficulty accepting the decision we have made, 6 years of trying/failing is enough for us. But at the same time I am some-what excited to be considering new adventures and a different future as a family of 2!
    I will be visiting here often as, since our decision, I have been feeling quite alone…..I am now very comforted to know that I am actually not.
    Thank you Pamela, your words have brought me to tears (not hard to do at the moment!) and also given me strength today.

    Author’s gravatar

    This blog is a great idea and I’ll be back. I’m 53, and finally jumped off the infertility train about ten years ago. Moving from childless to childfree took a while, but since then my husband and I have paid off our house, taken wonderful vacations (Scotland, Italy), enjoyed innumerable quiet evenings, and loved the company of our dogs. Thanks for this forum for other post-infertility people who “get it”.

    Author’s gravatar

    You are so not alone!  We’re here and we understand.

    Author’s gravatar

    I can’t wait for all of the New Beginnings and New Adventures!

    Author’s gravatar

    what a wonderful idea — congratulations on the new digs! your voice is sorely needed in this landscape.

    Author’s gravatar

    Nice place you have here!

    Author’s gravatar

    Love the new digs, Pamela! : ) I intend to be a frequent visitor!

    Author’s gravatar

    I absolutely LOVE the header for this blog. It’s beautiful and relaxing.

    Author’s gravatar

    CONGRATS!!! I am so excited for you. I can feel all the energy and enthusiasm for the new decade and I am feeling the same thing. A new blog is a great way to start the new decade. I will be back!!!xoxo

    Author’s gravatar

    Hi Pam- Thank you for this. I am in the midst of getting through the anger of TTC without success. It has been a long 6 years and its time to get my life back. My husband bought the book for me and it was really helpful. I want him to read it too.

    I am hoping to work through these difficult feelings soon and redefine my life as a woman who is childless NOT by choice. I am a mom to two wonderful doggies though.

    Finding Coming2Terms actually prompted me to pull myself out of the dark place I have been in for awhile and take steps to come to terms with this horrible experience. Thank you so much for starting this blog, I am not sure I would have taken the steps to help myself had I not found you or read your book.

    Happy New Year and I look forward to posting my new beginnings and adventures here in 2010!

    Loved the video too, thanks for posting that!

    Laura

    Author’s gravatar

    I read a comment you posted on http://www.adventuouswriter.com and it really resonated with me so I wanted to say hello.

    2 years ago I found out I was infertile due to cancer treatments I received when I was 4 years old. It took me a year for it to really hit me that I was NEVER going to have kids of my own. Then it took me a year to start to acclimate what that meant about who I was. This process will be ongoing forever I assume – but I AM OK. For our own reason we chose not to pursue egg donor and or possibly surrogate treatments (the only ones that would have really worked on our situation).

    The thing that is “weird” for me is that I have never wanted to run away or shield myself from women who have kids or who have overcome infertility. I surround myself with kids whenever possible. I know this is too hard for some women and I respect that it is different for each and every one of us. I would love to have a place to reach out to others who are now living childfree after infertility (whatever the reason). We are all great in our own right and life CAN be fulfilling in other (non replacement ways). If I sound quite upbeat? Well I am having a good day today – some days are better than others as we all know.

    Author’s gravatar

    Pamela,

    Congratulations on your new blog!! I know you have been planning this for awhile and I just saw it for the first time. It’s lovely!

    Having found your Coming2Terms blog way back when I started blogging in June 2008 and having read your wonderful book, Silent Sorority, it’s exciting to see this blog.

    By the way, I enjoyed watching your TV interview the other day (the one I linked to on Facebook). I’ve been interviewed on TV before (about endometriosis) but it was not LIVE like what you did. I’m sure that adds a whole new layer of anxiety to the proceedings! You did great.

    If anyone here has not yet read Pamela’s book, I wrote a detailed review of it on Amazon awhile back. Just look for the review that says:

    “Silent Sorority is a must-read. It is outstanding on many levels. EVERYONE can learn from this book., July 4, 2009,
    Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos has written a book that truly touched my heart!”

    Pamela, congratulations on your new blog. I just love those colorful-yet-peaceful looking chairs in your header. It’s very welcoming and inviting. You always have a good eye for these things.

    Congratulations!!

    Jeanne

    Author’s gravatar

    Hi Michelle,
    Welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Your insights enrich the conversation. This is new and unexpected territory for each of us. Each experience and perspective makes us all the more aware of how differently or similarly we respond and cope. I hope you come back often to visit…

    Author’s gravatar

    Hi Laura,
    Welcome!! I’m delighted you found kindred spirits. We look forward to hearing what you have in store for 2010.

    Author’s gravatar

    Your comment warmed my heart, Laura. So glad you found comfort in my words and a place to feel accepted and at home. You are among kindred spirits. We look forward to hearing what you have in store for 2010.

    Author’s gravatar

    Pamela- I love the idea of a new blog for those of us who have “survived” infertility and come out the other side as “not-moms” only to find (once the tears have been shed and stock has been taken) that life can be fulfilling, fun and excellent even without the label of “parent”. I would ask if your husband has ever thought of a blog for guys. I know my husband is just now dealing with the ramifications of our infertility struggles and his grief over not having children of our own.. he really has no one to talk to about these feelings except me.. I went through that about 6-7 years ago.. just wondering if there are other guys out there who also might need a place to express these feelings that we women also have.. no clue if guys would “blog” the way we do.. but boy it sure helps doesn’t it to know you are not alone and have people that “get it”.. I’ll be checking back for sure!

    Author’s gravatar

    I love the optimism of this blog! :)
    I am happy after over 10 years of infertility sadness—and I do mean truly happy. I will catch myself at times searching for any pain or sadness but I can’t find it (yes, regret at times–even some bitterness) but I finally feel happy after so many years of depression.
    Pamela, your book (The Silent Sorority) was my voice. I was shocked to find woman like me—feeling what I feel, saying what I said and crying like I had cried. I had been so wrapped up in my lone world–I didn’t realize there were so many women out there–like me! I belonged to a group—it was uplifting and even empowering. After reading your book, I began to heal. And that is when happiness started to fill my mind, my spirit, my heart and my soul. I am healed? Not yet—but I am closer than I have ever been!
    So, I look forward to your new blog–where we can share happiness in our lives instead of the sadness!
    Thank you—it doesn’t seem as if that is enough to say to you!:)

    Author’s gravatar

    Wow, Min. I’m very touched. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. With each acknowledgment we help remove the stigma and offer a warm embrace to another woman who once felt isolated in her experience.

    Author’s gravatar

    Pamela – I wanted you to say congratulations on a fabulous new blog – it’s perfect! And I love the photo of you in the yellow dress gal – that says it all. Hope all is well with you and Alex and happy 2010!

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