Silent Sorority

Infertility Survivors Finally Heard

May 8, 2020

Mother Is Also a Verb

Mother is a word typically associated with an individual. This gets hammered hard particularly toward the second week in May as greeting card companies and consumer marketing teams get busy. But, let’s remember mother is also a verb (and an adjective for that matter).

Mother Of All Change

We’ve had to rethink many things during this very unusual COVID-19 era. Changes large and small surround us as we work to adapt and find a new normal. Most everything feels different. That’s no more true than in the roles we’ve assumed.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly have found myself doing  a fair bit of mothering lately.

Mother as a verb

Sometimes I mother my extended family — nieces, nephews, siblings, partner or parents. Furthermore, I’ve also had to gently but firmly mother myself during a few periods of stress, sleeplessness or anxiety as the world shifted beneath our feet. I heard these words echo in my mind:

“You must find ways to exercise, eat healthier!”

“If you really want to get more sleep, steer clear of sugar in the evenings, particularly alcohol…”

“Think a little less about yourself. Reach out, with kindness, to others.”

This Sunday, as I do every Sunday … (BTW: annoying marketing machines and bots we see through your campaigns; now move on to your next sales gimmick) … I will ring my mother and let her know I love and appreciate her.

However, with this blog post, I also want to acknowledge all the women who have mothered me through my ups and downs the past several years. You may recall one May a few years back, I wrote this post: M.O.M. — From Today Forward It Means ‘Mentor of Many.’

See also  You Don’t Have To Be A Mother To Be A Loving Woman

Mentor of Many (MOMs)

This phrase, much like the verb mother, applies to a large and diverse population of women.

MotherSo, again, to those of you here who read, comment and send kind emails: I salute you!

Those who set wonderful examples within the infertility and childless not by choice community: Much respect!

Those who have opened your hearts and made the world a little easier for those grieving, in distress or just in need of being heard: Gratitude and many thanks!

Community Support

For those who need a little extra companionship this Sunday, please check out the Gateway Women events. Jody Day shared this in her Twitter feed:

“For our international childless sisters, this Sunday 10th May is Mother’s Day. In the GW private online community we’re running 3 live online events to support & connect our members across all time zones. Come and join us!

And for another perspective on how women mother, please check out Sue Lick’s latest post, Hide. It’s Almost Mother’s Day Again. She includes a few worthwhile links and observations. Here’s an excerpt:

“In the UK, they celebrate “Mothering Sunday” in March. It’s much like our own U.S. Mother’s Day. Some people who survived it offered their advice on the Full Stop podcast recently.

Civilla Morgan and Allie Anderson both had fertility problems and frequently write and speak about being childless not by choice. Like the rest of us, they grit their teeth through the day honoring moms.”

Updated 5/9/2020 to include this Twitter exchange:

Another Perspective 4 Replies to “Mother Is Also a Verb”
Pamela Tsigdinos
Pamela Tsigdinos
Writer, blogger and, oh, yeah, infertility survivor. My memoir, Silent Sorority, tells the whole story. There's a movie in there somewhere. Given the quirkiness needed to relate it all I'm thinking Jennifer Lawrence would be a good fit.


4 thoughts on “Mother Is Also a Verb

    Author’s gravatar

    I’m going to link this to my post. Thanks so much for this, Pamela. As our PM has said constantly, the reminder to “Be Kind” is important. To ourselves, and to others.

    Author’s gravatar

    I just love the title! How cool is it that in English, mother is also a verb? You are right, we all take care of others in different ways. Many have done the grocery shopping for elderly people in their neighborhood here in Switzerland in the last few weeks. That’s just one example. Thank you for this excellent post, Pamela!

    Author’s gravatar

    Honoring you and all of my M.O.M.s out there who have seen me through some very tough and dark times. I remember your M.O.M. post as it really struck a chord with me a few years ago.

    And, as with so many of your incisive observations, I look forward to dropping this one in conversation should I ever need to. “Yeah, well, mother is also a verb, so…..” Can we just see the baffled looks on people’s faces??

    Author’s gravatar

    Dear Pamela, you have certainly mothered this entire segment of the ALI community for the past 13 (!) years, and we are all so much richer for your presence & wise words! Hope you had a peaceful weekend. <3

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