Silent Sorority

Infertility Survivors Finally Heard

April 22, 2019

Failed IVF, Infertility Taboo Unplugged

Failed IVF and the taboo of infertility stories don’t often take center stage.

That is until Anything You Lose documentary filmmaker Irina Vodar decided to tackle the taboo head on. Irina kicked off a new video series, Infertility Tales, to shed light on this complex topic. You can learn more, watch and subscribe from Episode 1 here.

Our work on The Cycle Forum was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Irina and I joined a handful of women to discuss our failed IVF experiences and the painful aftershocks. Ahead of our discussion we each stood alone on a New York City stage. Under a spotlight we told our stories.

Below is a link to my stage debut, viewable for the first time online via Infertility Tales:

Documentary Filmmaker Tackles Taboo

As Irina explains on her YouTube channel:

“Infertility is rarely spoken about in public. Like other areas of human reproduction, it is certainly not considered a topic of “polite conversation” for many people, including couples who have received a diagnosis, are undergoing rounds of fertility treatments, or who have decided to pursue other solutions or directions in their lives.

“For this reason, when a group of women came together to discuss their experiences with infertility in public at The Cycle Forum, the gathering was subtitled “Living a Taboo”

“Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos was one of the first brave women of ‘Generation IVF’ to publicly speak about the profound effect infertility had on her and her husband’s lives. Bravery was clearly necessary to break the taboo, though, when her story was published in a New York Times article. the backlash was strong and immediate. It was amplified by the speed of the internet and the Times’ online comment section. While she was prepared for the physical and financial demands that fertility treatments required, emotional and social challenges and her own expectations were a surprise.”

Fellowship and Community

As my talk makes clear, failed IVF and the backlash that accompanied my infertility disclosure in The New York Times cut deeply. While the emotional tsunami that followed threatened to overwhelm me, I also experienced an unexpected kind embrace. This embrace and warm support came from women who had walked in my shoes.

See also  Triggered In A Way I Didn't Expect

As part of our work on The Cycle Forum, Irina and I had the privilege of working with Dr. Marni Rosner, Miriam Zoll, Tracey (Cleantis) Dwyer, Jennifer Wolff Perrine and Sonia Daly. I also had the good fortune of meeting and befriending courageous, resilient women in the audience that night: Sarah Chamberlin and Cathy Broadwell.

Give a listen to Irina’s Infertility Tales video series. Mark your calendars as well for the UK premiere of Irina Vodar’s film, Anything You Lose May 3, 1:45 pm GMT.

Also, check out the links above to get a much greater sense of the gravity of failed IVF and infertility’s impact.  Our collective work not only raises awareness, it enables healing.

Welcome your thoughts as always.

Different Than I Expected 10 Replies to “Failed IVF, Infertility Taboo Unplugged”
Pamela Tsigdinos
Pamela Tsigdinos
Writer, blogger and, oh, yeah, infertility survivor. My memoir, Silent Sorority, tells the whole story. There's a movie in there somewhere. Given the quirkiness needed to relate it all I'm thinking Jennifer Lawrence would be a good fit.


10 thoughts on “Failed IVF, Infertility Taboo Unplugged

    Author’s gravatar

    dear Pamela,
    I have just watched the video. You are just brilliant!
    sending kind regards from Europe,

      Author’s gravatar

      Deeply appreciate your kind words and thank you for sharing the link on your blog, Klara! xx

    Author’s gravatar

    What a great article! I’m deeply honored and reminded what the work is all about. Love ya!

      Author’s gravatar

      Grateful to be able to work alongside you and so many wonderful and compassionate women, Irina. xx

    Author’s gravatar

    Excellent speech, Pamela! Thank you so much for all the work you do. It has made a huge difference for many women and will continue to do so. Sunny spring greetings from Switzerland

      Author’s gravatar

      Thank you, Elaine! A big warm greeting from the Sierra Nevada Mountains back to you. I look forward to catching up on your latest. xo

    Author’s gravatar

    Dear Pamela,
    thanks a lot for sharing the video and congratulation on your speech!
    Thanks to Irina too: I’m looking forward to seeing more of the infertility tales series.
    Kind regards,

      Author’s gravatar

      Happy that you could watch and thank you for taking the time to watch and comment, Léa!

    Author’s gravatar

    Pamela, I’m very late to this, as it takes me a while to get to any videos (so it’ll take me a while to watch them all). But I just watched your speech and now have tears in my eyes. That last comment – it’s a killer. You did a great job of explaining how difficult and isolating this can be. But in speaking out, as always, you are helping others feel less isolated. Brava!

      Author’s gravatar

      Thank you, Mali! It was a tough talk to prepare and deliver, but I’m so glad I did. xo

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