Women I could easily connect with or who effortlessly ‘got me’ and my complicated childless, ‘non-mom’ experience once felt elusive. That’s because during my 30s and well into my early 40s I learned some hard truths. You could say I was akin to an older Janis Ian. Modifying a few of her classic lyrics a…
Category: Tapestry of Voices
That’s Life, Strap In
Bronchitis has left the room. Good riddance one month of debilitating exhaustion. Three weeks of high-dose prednisone (a shrew-making steroid if there ever was one) plus regular rescue inhaler. Ten days of antibiotics. Twice-daily plus corticosteroid inhaler and nasal spray. Deep, glorious breaths. Life is good. So great to be back to something resembling normal….
Tribalism: From Kinship to Tyranny
Tribalism at its best provides a haven and kinship. Who doesn’t like to feel accepted and validated? Tribalism at its worst, however, fuels misunderstandings, culture wars, and, at the extreme, ugliness. Most of us have witnessed or encountered all of the above. My latest tribal experience stemmed from my participation in Slate‘s podcast, What I…
Empathy: The Glue That Holds Humanity Together
There are few things harder than bearing witness to suffering, grief, or pain. When we hear someone’s sorrow in their breaking voice, our hearts clench. Our eyes well up. Empathy, the glue that holds humanity together, kicks in. Empathy causes us to ache in unison. We cast about, sometimes helplessly, to find a way to…
Sadness Moves Us Toward What is To Be Gained
I sat as calmly as I could recently while Esther, an acupuncturist, held my wrists palms up and felt my pulse. My lungs, I shared, had been tested by unrelenting, cumulative wildfire smoke. This precipitated an extended asthma attack and related tightness. “How do you feel?” Esther asked. “Hmmm, asthmatic and a bit stressed,” I…
World Childless Week Gives Voice to the Growing Childless Community
World Childless Week is almost upon us. It originated in 2017 to support and build awareness for the childless not by choice community. In its initial week, September 2017, Twitter analytics documented 1.2 million tweets of #worldchildlessweek. In 2018 World Childless Week reached 85 countries. Readers may recall I was one of those who shared…
Childless Not by Choice: A Conversation with Civilla Morgan
Childless not by choice (CNBC) is a community I never expected to join. For many years I didn’t even know this vibrant community existed. However, what I did know 12 years and 8 days ago is this: I was in pain. On my best days I struggled mightily. The worst? I reeled. Imagine a stormy…
That IVF Sausage Factory
IVF is a Sausage Factory I was not Prepared For… So writes Professor James Arvanitakis in an essay for The Sydney Morning Herald. Oh how we hear you, James. We are immensely grateful for your honesty. In a few paragraphs you painted a clear picture of what it feels like to be on the receiving…
Avalanche Author Julia Leigh On the Untold IVF Story
Thank you to all who participated and read along in the Avalanche: A Love Story book tour. My review ran in The Huffington Post. You can find a summary of the blog book tour here: Fertility Medicine Failures Illuminated. The full set of contributions are also included in this blog post: We’re Not Going to…
Strong? Stronger Than Ever, Thank You Very Much
Strong? You want strong? I nominate women who stop or forego risk-laden IVF treatment. Women who stand up to profiteering medical practitioners are as far as you can get from the widespread narrative that those who don’t persist with treatment are weak, pitiful creatures who couldn’t hang. The strong women I know faced the music….